Tuesday, October 9, 2018

A woman's value



I find myself aghast, dumb founded and before I recover, I manage to just utter a timid ‘Ille’ meaning No in Tamil, not being sure why it was timid. I am fresh and clean after my morning bath and dressed in a loose purple T shirt paired with a khaki colour cargo pant that falls well below my knees. I ponder, question and re question my mind if it does not look decent.  Well, I feel super comfortable and quiet covered.

I am in Thiruvarur district of Tamil Nadu in Central University campus where my Dad is the VC, an eminent VC. I have come from the busy city of Mumbai with my not yet 2 year old toddler to spend some time with my Dad and laze around in the serene city of Thiruvarur, if that is at all possible with a super active toddler. I am in the VC bungalow in my bedroom with my toddler who is sitting on the bed all dressed up but pant less, to attend his play school in campus. I try to save his dignity from the eyes of the maids in my room who have just arrived for cleaning, by covering him up with a diaper. Oh, but I was mistaken because the eyes were on me and thank God not the toddler. The elderly aunt asks me in Tamil about the whereabouts of my ‘dupatta’. At first, I do not understand and at the second, I pretend not to understand and at the third or final, I say ‘Ille’ meaning No. Meanwhile, the other lady, not so elderly, with an ostensibly irritated look asks me if they can clean the bathroom and I agree trying to interpret if the lady is attempting to safely close the just initiated discussion or taking a side. I am unable to answer them anything else because of lack of knowledge in Tamil language.

I mentally plan of googling up an apt reply in Tamil, discussing it with my mother, calling up my Tamil friend from college, and what not. I think of asking her if we as women should be ashamed of our body and keep covering it with layers and layers. I step down the stairs to proceed with my daily activities with my thoughts also stepping down in its intensity. Oh, there were so many thoughts and even contradictory ones. Should I have got ‘salwar kameez’ and ‘dupatta’ with me? Would that have been better?

However, I know that I am aware of the exact dressing for mostly every occasion and place and I need not take such petty things to heart but somewhere within I am alert that these things which we can ignore and proceed with life are not as petty as we may make it appear or rather prefer making it appear. It is the mentality that is inbuilt in many people and actually may take a lifetime to change.

I carry on with life with disbelief of the incident today. I meet the ladies everyday choosing to ignore the incident every single day.      

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